My housemate Lori (not to be confused with sister-in-law Lori) has a master's (and a bachelor's, for that matter) in communications. This means that talking to her is very complicated, because she's always thinking about what's actually going on in the conversation, below the words that I'm actually saying. She tries to listen to what I really mean, which is strangely unusual and disturbing.
It sounds weird for me to say that it disturbs me that she really listens to what I say, because that's kind of the point of talking and listening, but not many people actually do that. (I know I don't, not really.) She listens so hard that I can kind of see her listening, and it's kind of uncomfortable, like I'm suddenly half-naked.
So last night we had this conversation: "I set my alarm for 6:45 tomorrow morning because I have to leave the house by 7:45." She gave me a kind of blank look, then said, "I'm trying to figure out what the real question is here, what you're actually trying to say." What she wants me to say is "I'm planning on taking my shower at 6:50; does that fit with your schedule?" whereas I tend to beat around the bush a little bit, and that generally confuses her, especially since I'm usually talking to her in the evening when she's already tired.
Talking to her has made me more aware of the importance of successful communication, involving the two complements of speaking and listening, and directness (not to be confused with rudeness). I'm starting, like her, to see these undertones in conversation, and to understand why I'm so scared sometimes just to say what I mean (and thus give so much unnecessary background).
And that makes me realize how thoughts are contagious, how the attitudes and ideas and mores of the people you live with and around grow and infect you. You can't get to know someone (or even think about them a bit) and not start to understand the world the way they do, or I can't anyway. Maybe it's just me, because if it's not, why can't we get along with Iraq, Al-Qaeda, and North Korea?
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