I have no idea why, but for the past few months I've had regular nightmares. They're not terribly frequent, maybe one every few weeks, but given that I had never in my life had a nightmare before I was 18 and that the next one after that was about 5 years later, this is an alarming increase.
These are not stereotypical monster-in-the-closet or screaming-axe-murderer nightmares. No, they're far scarier than that. They come out of my own psyche, the insidious little fears that I can't quite shake.
In my first-ever nightmare, I was in Germany and had ticked off a man in some very trivial way, and he was annoyed mostly because I hadn't apologized. I knew that if I said I'm sorry,
he would be completely mollified, but I didn't know the words. The man didn't speak English, and no one knew a translation, and even though a kind woman passing by happened to have a dictionary, it wasn't there either. The ticked-off man kept getting madder and madder, and I woke up crying.
Last week I dreamed that I was in a never-ending interview, for hours or days on end. This morning's nightmare is mercifully unclear to me, but I just remember being driven somewhere in a car, emotional blackmail, and a nasty manipulative man attempting to steal my Elizabethan garb, which is intensely valuable to me but probably not to anyone else. I woke up before I knew whether he succeeded or not.
I don't know why these nightmares are happening, but I'd sure appreciate it if they stopped.
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